• Facebook Social Icon
  • Twitter Social Icon

How to Gain Self-Confidence


Good self-confidence depends on feeling worthy, inner love,

self-respect, and hence having positive self-esteem.


While good self-esteem is an essential part of self-confidence,

in this article we will discuss the role of cultivating our inner 

strengths for building self-confidence. 


When we identify our inner strengths, we are in a good position

to increase both self-esteem and self-confidence. 




Strengths may be physical, intellectual, emotional, moral, spiritual, social, or associated with your skill sets.


Natural and core strengths will often come easy to people, as do natural talents. Some people are physically built to be naturally good at athletics, while others have natural abilities with mathematics, language, or creativity. Other people may have emotional strengths and can handle stress well, or remain emotionally composed under pressure.  Moral strengths are associated with the virtues, and in positive psychology they identify core strengths associated with each virtue.  For instance, strengths associated with the virtue of humanity include love, kindness, social intelligence and emotional intelligence.  People who are naturally inclined with good social skills have strengths in communication, empathy, charisma, and kindness.  

Another feature of natural strengths is that they often get expressed in childhood

and are recognized by other people.  If many people tell you that you're a good singer,

then you likely have strengths in singing.  Similarly, if music came easy to you as a child,

and you have always felt passionate about music and singing, then you have natural

talents and strengths in music and singing.  

Understanding our strengths from a career perspective is also important, and some

strengths can be acquired through our education and work experience.  Strengths 

involving management, organization, leadership, and discipline call all be learned, but

may come more naturally to some.  While some people may seem like natural born 

leaders, leadership involves certain skill sets that can be learned.  

Often We Will Feel Passionate About Our Strengths

Regardless of what strengths we are talking about, people will often feel passionate about their natural core strengths.  People who love exercise, physical work, and being active often have various physical strengths.  They might be good with movement or dance, or have strong physical bodies that need a lot of activity.   


I have a family member that loves numbers, organization, and accounting - he is truly passionate about these things.  However, others will struggle with numbers and accounting, but will have strengths in other areas.


No matter where you are in life, you have your own unique strengths


Regardless or who you are, or what is going on in your life, you have natural strengths that you can use to build self-confidence and improve your overall life.  Determining your strengths is not only important for increasing self-confidence, but also for reaching your goals, aspirations, and life purposes.  


When we know our strengths, and work to develop them, we can then use those strengths to get to where we want to be in life. Our strengths are what will carry us to the life we dream of.   

What physical strengths to do you have?

What mental, intellectual, or emotional strengths do you have?

What are your moral strengths?

Do you have any spiritual strengths?

Let's now return our discussion to some other important ways to increase self-confidence.   

Set self-confidence goals and use your strengths to achieve them

Goal setting to accomplish our aims is very valuable, and helps keep us on track for achieving our pursuits.  We can also set self-confidence goals, and these are important to have as we seek to boost our self-confidence.  


For people that struggle with low self-confidence and social anxiety, they can set goals regarding how to overcome their anxiety while also increasing their confidence.  This could involve starting conversations with the opposite sex, asking people on dates, conversing in small talk, or doing public speaking events.  The point is that it helps to make specific goals that keep us on track for increasing our self-confidence.  


What specific goals can you make to increase your self-confidence?


Break Your Goals Into Small Units    

For any goal you set, break it down into small units that are manageable and easy to accomplish. If you dream of writing a book, losing 50 pounds, or starting a business, first identify several smaller goals that lead to the bigger and final goal. This may require three steps or 20 steps. However, by setting smaller goals within the context of the larger one, you give yourself small wins along the way which will also help to build self-confidence.        


When working towards any goal you will encounter challenges and setbacks along the way. When this occurs, focus on solutions and not problems.  Focusing on problems allows the internal voices of the inner critic, self-doubt and fear to arise, and they feed negativity and will sabotage your confidence. By focusing on the solutions we can mobilize our strengths and courage to find the answers to our challenges.  


Find solutions towards achieving your goals by using your strengths to get wins - this will 

help to build self-confidence.   


Some final things I want to share about building self-confidence are to take time to look your best, and take care of yourself physically. Eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, practicing good hygiene and tending to your physical appearance, are all important for building self-confidence on a physical level.  In addition, be sure to nurture positive relations with people who cherish you and enjoy your company. Sharing your strengths with the people in your life, be they friends, family, partners or co-workers will help to build self-confidence as well. When we share our strengths with others we will naturally feel good about ourself, and people will love and respect us for this.  

To build both self-confidence and positive self-esteem it is also necessary to look out for negative self-talk. We each have an inner critic that speaks negatively and feeds us with self-doubt and fear.  In fact, the voice of the inner critic has many ways in which it tells us things to hold us back.  To learn more about this read the article: Getting to Know Your Inner Critic